My heart rate has always been at least 110. No exceptions. It's always been fast. It's because I worry so much and get upset so easly by everything in the world.

The other day, I was in CVS and I decided to play around with their little blood pressure/heart rate machine.

My bloodpressure was 117/77 and my heart rate was 80.

80? That had to be wrong, so I took it again. It was wrong. This time it was 78!

What the....?

I started thinking about the changes in my life lately and what would have caused such a dramatic change in my heart's health.

Then I realized that the greatest change in my life lately has been Robert (and before you ask, no, this isn't the Robert from massage school).

Robert has improved my life in so many ways.

He's teaching me to be more patient...more "go with the flow"ish.

He has brought me back to God. It wasn't something he set out to do, but it happened more because I've been asking God to give me some proof that He is worthy of my speaking His praises rather than cursing His name. No sooner do I ask for that then He makes me open my eyes and see the totally wonderful man who had been in my life for four months before I actually noticed him.

I'm happy. I mean truly happy for the first time in a long time. It's amazing how happy and wonderful about myself another human being can make me feel.

We either agree or totally disagree on issues. We agree on the important things (like, when this euphoric feeling wears off from the newness of this relationship [I'm thinking, like, 50 or so years from now], that we're not going to just give up on it. I've already told him point blank that this relationship is the best one I've been in and I'm going to fight to keep it).

I've begun to realize that something bad happening isn't the end of the world. I got fired this week (more on that later) and I only cried for the first half hour or so after it happened, and I was never really angry about it. Before Robert, I would have thought the Universe was plotting against me.

As I've said before, this relationship is the best one I've been in. It's also one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I can barely remember my life before him.

It just works. I can't really describe it, but it just feels RIGHT.