So, you know in the last entry how I was talking about how the stress meter was maxed out and how I hoped it was the last time until I got out of school? Yeah...WRONG!!!

When I woke up yesterday, I was already feeling like a huge loser because I was not able to convince my friend to NOT have the abortion that she was scheduled for later that morning. I was trying to push it out of my mind with other things, but it still has me bummed out. On top of that, I had TWO HUGE muscle tests that night, which I had been stressing over for the better part of two weeks.

I got up at around 8:00am yesterday because I had not washed my clothes for work. I threw the shirts in the washer, grabbed a bowl of cereal and flipped through the movie channels to see if there was anything of interest on. There wasn't. When the clothes were done, I ironed a shirt, got dressed for work and headed out the door about 1/2 an hour early because I had to swing by the pharmacy and pick up an inhaler.

When I left the house, I was in my tennis shoes because I had left my work shoes in my car from where I had changed the night before for class. I arrived at work and was in the process of changing my shoes when Bocelli walks up to the car. More often than not, we are the first two there, so I didn't think anything of him not yet being inside setting up. He didn't even get to the car before he starts talking to me. I reach inside the car to turn down the music (Voltaire!) that I had blasting. Of course, I get the music turned down at the time that he wraps up whatever he was saying, prompting me to question what he had said.

"We're closed," he summed up.

I questioned why and he explained that there was a note on the door and all of The Cookers had been closed down. We're a close knit staff, so I thought he was BSing with me because, well, that's the sort of things you do to your co-workers at The Cooker. I finished changing my shoes and ran to catch up with Bocelli because he had already started back toward the front door, in an attempt to show me the note.

Sure enough, when we got to the door, there was a note on it that said:

"MEMORANDUM

TO: Our Guests, Managing Partners, Managers, Crewmembers and Vendors

FROM: Dan Clay

DATE: April 29, 2004

On Monday, April 26, 2004, the Cooker Board of Directors met and accepted the resignation of Henry Hillenmeyer as Chairman and CEO. Accordingly, I was elected President and Chief Operating Officer.

As you are aware, the Company filed Chapter 11 Bankruptcy in May of 2001. After a history of unprofitable operating results, the Cooker has been unable to secure any additional funds.

The Board of Directors has made the decision, effective immediately, to cease operations at all our existing restaurants.

We are sorry about the abrupt nature of this and sincerely thank you for your patronage and service.

_______________________________________________________________________

Major Medical Insurance (CoreSource) � all coverage, including Cobra, has ended.

Call CoreSource at 800-327-5462 with questions.

Limited Medical Insurance (Starbridge) � all coverage, including Cobra, has ended.

Call CoreSource at 800-308-5948 with questions.

401-k (American Funds) � Call 800-421-9900 with questions.

Payroll & Accounts Payable � All accounts are closed.

Press and all media questions to David McKenzie at 615-385-9671."

That's it. That's how I found out that I didn't have a job anymore. No call from a manager. Hell, no manager there to even meet us and explain what the hell was going on! It figured; we had just gotten managers that we actually liked, then they close us.

After the initial shock wore off, the tears started. Between Bocelli, Charli and I, we had most of the staff's numbers, so we called around to let everyone know. Most of the girls that I called were either pissed off or broke down into tears immediately, which got me going again.

It's not so much the job that I was upset about. It was the people. I really enjoyed most of the people that I worked with. Having us close in this manner was like having an abrupt end to summer camp, knowing that you'll never again see some of the other people that you've grown close to.

Charli and I left our former place of employment and went straight to file for unemployment, because we had also learned that the paychecks we had gotten the day before were no longer going to be honoured. That REALLY sucks for me because my vacation pay is on there. Instead of having the "normal" server paycheck of $4.98, I had a check for $128.99. Now it's worthless because all of the Cooker's accounts have been frozen.

The rest of my morning was spent trying to figure out if my insurance (or rather, former insurance) was still going to pay for these shots that I had been approved for before The Cooker went under. Long story short: they're not. I went to my doctor's office to tell them what had happened and he said that he wanted me to get the shots no matter what they had to do. So, they're not going to let me just stop these shots because they belive they can really help me. So, that was a bright spot in an otherwise dark day.

After all of the medical hoopla was figured out, I went hunting for another job. I went 2 places yesterday and plan on hitting some more today, even though I seem to already have a job at P.F. Chang's. He said he will call me about orientation next week, but still wants me to look other places because I've been with the same company for two years and I need to know whatelse is out there. So today I continue looking.

After all that was done, I came home, fixed a sandwich and headed off to class. Because there was very little traffic on the roads yesterday, I made it to school with an hour to spare. It was only when I got there and saw a sign on the door that said: "Please do not enter. Thanks! Fran" that I remembered: TEST!! (I've also discovered that if there's a note on a door, I'm just not going to read it any more). I went in the student lounge and sat down with my flash cards for some last minute reviewing.

The test came in two parts. The first part was written and the second part was palpation. You were paired up for the second part based on when you finished with your written test.

Of course, with the way my day had been going up to that point, I don't know why I was suprised that I got paired up with who I did.

There is this one guy in the class that I cannot stand. I do not like him touching me at all little less performing massage on me. This guy is creepy and is the one always making the sexual jokes. On top of that, he just doesn't get massage. He never stands correctly. Everytime the teacher corrects him (ON THE SAME THING!!) he responds with: "We'll get it." I always want to say: "We've got it. You're the only one who needs to catch up." I hate this guy touching me so much that after the classes when I have to work with him, I rush home and shower with the HOTTEST water I can possibly stand.

The good news is that I got an 80% on the written test and a perfect 100% on the palpation.

After class, I was just glad the day was over. One of my friends from class invited me over to her house to have a beer. I gladly accepted. I got to meet her husband and one of his friends, who had a five hour head start on drinking and were showing it. Even drunk, these two gentlemen were charming and funny. I really enjoyed hanging out with them. It was a chance for me to forget about the rest of my crappy day.

After I left their house, I went out to the Nachez Trace Bridge where I go when I need to get away. I always go up there after dark, lay on the hood of my car (or a blanket that I spread out on the concrete) and watch the stars. There's never been any people up there at the same time as I am, so it's all mine. It is stone cold silent also. If the silence becomes too much for me and starts to weird me out too much, I'll turn on the radio and blast it while I continue to look at the stars.

Last night, the silence got to me after about 20 minutes. The radio was set to a station that I rarely listen to, but they seemed to be doing fairly well on the music front that evening, so I left it on.

The third song in began and I just absolutely lost it.

The song was "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.

R.E.M.

Two of the people that I adore in the world love this band. The problem is that they both live in California. On top of everything else in this day, a song that played at a quarter of midnight reminded me that I was 2,000 miles away from the people that I wanted to be closest to.