So, I have a 45 minute drive (one way) when I go to or from school. Actually, it's 25 minutes, but with traffic, I can EASILY tack on an extra 20, if not more. I'm one of those people who loves to drive because it allows me time to think. Tonight, as I was driving in, I began thinking about what I was going to write about in here today. I have this whole entry about adulthood that I feel that I really need to write about, but then I saw something that made me, yet again, change my topic. It was a sign. No, a literal sign. On the front yard of a church. All it said was "Count your blessings." So, I began thinking about all of the things that I am grateful for. Then I decided THAT would be a pretty good entry. If for no other reason, I'll have them written down somewhere, so when I have a bad day, I can look back on them. I don't exactly know how long this list is going to be at the moment, so just stick with me. I may list three things here now and think of another 20 tomorrow that I'll add in a future entry.

So, without further ado, Things I'm Grateful For by Mandi Stark (*takes bow*)

1) My family. Although I may have a bit of problems outwardly expressing it, I absolutely adore my family. My parents have always been there to listen to me rant and rave about whatever I need and offer (somewhat sane) advice. They have also made it very clear that if we go out, take on the world and fall flat on our face, we can always come back home to recollect ourselves before striking out again.

2) My friends. I personally believe that I have the world's greatest group of friends. Granted, it's not a very LARGE group in the scope of the world, but they are great none the less. I have very few friends who are girls, but I am now and probably always will be extremely close to them. Faith, Chris, Lisa, Ursula and Maria have listened to me go on and on about one thing or another and have not lost patience with me. The guys that I have as friends are equally as great. There are more of these (not by many, but a few), simply because I have ALWAYS gotten along better with guys than girls. My best friend in Chicago was a guy named Chad Johnson and the first person I bonded with in Tennessee was Jeremy Cox.

3) I'm fully functional (and anatomically correct!...who says you *can't* work a Voltaire lyric into every conversation?). By fully functional, I mean that I am not dependant on anyone else for my daily activities. I can dress myself, soak in the tub and drive unaided. I am able to walk without the help of a walker or wheelchair and I have all of my limbs and digits. Asthma? Yeah, I have it, but it's gotten to the point lately that I'm using my inhaler so little that I actually forget to take it with me when I go out, and actually don't realize it until I get back home and see it laying on the counter. Of course, if I were to have an attack when I was in public and not have it on me, I would be, in the words of George Carlin, "jolly well fucked".

4) My good days. When I'm having a good day, I feel like I can single handedly take on the world and win. There are not nearly enough of them for my taste, but when they're here, they are fantastic.

5) Dr. Steven Tate. I LOVE this man. He has been treating me for allergies and asthma since I was six. Last month, he saw me completely flip out in his office because I just could not take one more bad day skin wise. They had to call him in because I arrived at his office when he was not there. His staff could tell that I was absolutely at the lowest of my low points. He sat down with me and for nearly 2 hours we devised a new plan of attack. Unfortunately, most of the things we've been trying aren't working as well as we hoped, but there are two shots I can get once a month that keep my skin unbelieveably clear (unfortunately, for some odd reason, it's making me put all of the weight back on, but I'm just going to have to watch what I eat and how I exercise more closely). We are currently trying everything to make everyday a good day.

6) Sleeping. Yep, I'm grateful for sleeping. I don't get to do nearly enough of it these days, but I expected that when I decided to take on night classes after working all day.

7) Movies. As everyone knows, I LOVE movies. They are my escape when reality is just too much for me. I can tell I'm having a stressful (not necessarily bad, but just stressful) day if the phrase "I just want to go sit in a theatre" pops out of my mouth every 3.2 minutes.

8) Lord of the Rings. Yep, I will forever be grateful that this movie was made, or more importantly, when it was released. The first part of this movie (Fellowship of the Ring) was released on December 19, 2001....two months after September 11. I still really wasn't coping well with the reality of things, but I got to sit in the theatre and watch this amazing movie. I think the fact that it was made into three movies, rather than one long one, made it that much better. While it drove me nuts that I had to wait two years to see the entire thing, it actually gave me something to look forward to for two years of my life. It was also because of this movie that I realized that I would not be happy unless I ended up MAKING movies like this someday. So, with that realization, I left school and charged after the film industry. Kind of crazy to give that much credit to a movie, right? I've seen people give a lot more credit to a lot more crazy things.

9) I'm single. I'm actually happy that I'm single for, probably, the first time in my life. I'm 24, people. God willing, I've got a bit of time left on this earth, so I'm not really in any big hurry to get in a relationship at the moment. That statement comes after an incredibly odd week with guys. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm not going to turn down a relationship with someone if I feel a connection with him. I will absolutely date someone if I have that "connection" with him, but unfortunately, I don't think I actually have that with anyone currently in my life.

10) Having said that I'm glad that I'm single, I'm also glad that I have two different guys vying for my attention. That is also something that is occurring for the first time in my life. I met a guy the other night who is a teacher and forensics coach at BA (one of our local private schools). He's not a totally terrible guy, but unforunately for him, he reminds me of another guy from my past who wasn't such a great guy. I just could not see myself dating anyone like that. He even has the same laugh *shudder*. But regardless, it's nice to have someone interested in you. The second guy is someone I know from school. We're not in the same class, so we don't see each other everyday, but I do enjoy the time we spend together. When there's a group of people around, we crack one another up. If it's just us around, one of us will usually find a reason to dart out of the room, just to break the akward tension of not knowing what to say. Totally sweet guy though. And adorable. I could see myself dating him...if we'd figure out how to carry on a decent conversation without the company of five other people.

11) School! ! For the first time in my life, I enjoy school! I enjoy it because it's teaching me stuff that I'm ACTUALLY going to use when I get out of there. When exactly was the last time you used a logarithm outside of the classroom? I'm learning muscles and bones that I'm actually going to be working on everyday. This school is also changing me personally in tons of ways I never thought possible. I'm becoming more centered as a person and more balanced with the universe through Yoga and meditation. I'm learning more about myself everyday that I'm there.

12) I had $11,950.50 in debt erased last week. It was my outstanding balance owed to the hospital for my BRIEF stay back in October. The bill was originally $14,494.50, but insurance paid $2,500 of it. For reasons that I'm still not entirely clear of (although I know it's NOT a mistake because I had the woman explain to to me SEVERAL times), the hospital zeroed out my account, so now I owe them nothing! (which is the way health care SHOULD be).

Hmmm. A dozen things off the top of my head. Not too shabby. I'm sure that my brain will continue to list things tomorrow as I go throughout my day, so we may have another list like this in a blog in the near future.

Anyway, right now, I'm going to go take full advantage of number 6.

'Night!