Well, I discovered something about myself this weekend. I discovered that I'm scared to get in a relationship.

Go figure.

I mean, besides the fact that every guy I've dated has hurt me in one way or another....

This weekend, my roommate's best friend (yep, it's the stuff soap operas are made of) came into my place of employment (which, if they keep pulling the BS they're pulling, won't be my place of employment for much longer) and we got to chatting as I was running around cleaning (closing restaurants is fun).

Anyway, it's not unusual for us to hang out and watch movies or ATHF, so we went to the apartment when I got off work. We stayed up talking until about 5:00 the next morning, at which point, we both fell asleep on the floor.

Several times during the night, we were in the position where he could have kissed me if he had been so inclined, but he never tried.

I need someone who can take some initiative, People.

This guy is perfectly nice and we share a lot of the same interests (for example, he can understand why Vivaldi won't work as massage music), but I realized that I'm not really into the whole relationship thing right now. When I realized I could be taking the first steps toward the most serious relationship I've had in a while, I actually get NAUSEATED.

I suddenly see all of the things I have yet to do as a single woman. I have not yet traveled to Europe. I haven't worked on enough movies. I haven't...well, I don't know what else, but I know there're things I wouldn't do if I were in a relationship.

Plus, aren't we supposed to learn from history or repeat it? My history tells me that my relationships are going to end badly. That's just my life.

Grrr.

Never happy.